I had some free time today (as I do most days. Thank you very much economic down-turn) and found myself contemplating balls and the problems that arise thereof: -

- They are excrutiatingly painful when struck with even the slightest impact.
- They hang in the perfect place to be utterly crushed whenever you sit down (see above also)
- They sweat like all hell.
- They itch like all hell.
- They were designed to be far too sensitive so that any deodorant you spray (to alleviate the sweating, see above) will literally make them burst into flames.

As I pondered these points, I realised that while all of them were true. You can't deny balls look damn good on a girls chin. I rest my case.